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The best test of your relationship as well as the best predictor of its survivability is whether it’s fun now! This is not a theoretical point of view.  It’s a practical tool you can use.  Is your relationship fun now?  Are you enjoying being with the person you’re with?  If not why are you bothering?

My 20 year old son recently commented that his several year long relationship with his high school girl friend was probably ending.  Of course we asked why.

“We just didn’t have that much fun being together” when they saw each other at Christmas.

Yes!  No trauma, no drama, just an awareness that this was not what he was interested in having in his life!

Wow, who are all those funny looking old people!  They don’t look like anyone in the glowing but faded memories I have of college!

The college I attended (and graduated from), New College in Sarasota, FL, recently, repeatedly, and enthusiastically invited me to the 50th anniversary of its founding.  Their insistence did make me ponder if I wished to go–or more accurately, was missing something.  However, something much dearer to my heart (an Access workshop in Sweden where many people I had worked with would be) was on the same weekend.  I probably would have had some interesting conversations with a few people–but the person I know and love best from that period of my life is STILL in my life.  If the relationship now ain’t great, who cares what it was then?

How much do we focus on the past in our lives, looking to the past as some kind of guide to create the future? How can that possibly create anything but more of the same?  Is that ALL you would like in your life, or would you like more?

Now thanks to facebook I’ve just taken a look at some of the events, including names and this-is-what-they-look-like-now ah-has!  And you know what, I’m perfectly happy I didn’t go.  The people I’m still connected with from there I’m grateful for.  And if anyone else had a relevance to my life now, I’d know them.

So what relationships are important to you?  If you’re spending a lot of time reminiscing over any of them, what is that doing for you? Is it contributing to your present, or to creating the life you’d really like to have?

I never understood those I-lost-her-and-know-it-will-work-if-I-get-her-back type of songs.  If it was so great then, why did the person leave? What gives you any realistic indication it will be any better now?

One of the 6 Do’s to Create a Relationship That’s Easy and Fun Is:  Look at who you’re with, not who you WISH you were with.  If you’re pining for anyone, this one applies to you!